Will holds five month old Haddie while the older kids practice tae kwon do.
*******DISCLAIMER: I COMPLETELEY UNDERSTAND THAT THIS A DEEPLY PERSONAL TOPIC THAT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE AND SHOULD BE DECIDED BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. NO JUDGEMENTS HERE.********
Hm. I don’t even know where to start with this. I know going into it that I won’t be able to pour my heart and soul into it they way I should. I know people are against it. I know people think it’s insane. That makes it kind of hard, you know?
The topic is having a lot of kids. Or: when to stop having them.
First off, let me say – in all of the mommydom that is ALL over the internet, I think this topic is sadly neglected. If you’ve seen the blogs/threads…send them my way.
Secondly – I get that this topic can make people uncomfortable. I was probably 3 kids in before I knew asking something, “Are you having another?” was rude. The internet taught me that. I honestly had no idea. So if you’re one of the people, I offended. I had no idea, I’m so sorry. And here’s to all you who asked me the question and made me think that it was okay – why didn’t you tell me it was a socially unacceptable question?
People on the internet get vicious. “It’s my uterus I’ll do what I want with it!” “Do you want me to ask you about your sex life?” Or things of that nature. I’m obviously not like that. If you’d asked me before Haddie I would’ve said, “No, we’re probably not done.” Immediately after she was born? “Yes. No more ever again.” Now? “I don’t know.”
I make up my mind both ways every day. Which is super helpful and confusing.
Something I have actually said out loud to my husband, “I wish someone would just give me a newborn.”
Something I thought in my mind, “I wish it would just happen on ‘accident’ and then the decision would be made.” Darn you being a responsible adult and having to make life-altering decisions.
There are lots of excellent, sound reasons to stop having children. Whether it be your first or fifth. A lot of times the decision is made for you – health reasons, advanced maternal age, financial difficulties, unsupportive partner, etc.
If you are not dealing with any of those issues – there are also lots of wonderful reasons to NOT stop. Watching my four kids love on each other is without a doubt one of the very best parts of my life. I believe 100% that children are a blessing. You don’t have to be ‘religious’ to think that either. I have heard more than one person comment, “I wish we’d had another one.” “I would have another one in heartbeat.” I haven’t heard the opposite.
I also like the argument, “You already have four, what’s one more?” Haha.
I just asked myself this question tonight: Do I want another child or do I just want another baby? I would delight in a newborn, but I would delight in an almost eight year old the same way I currently do delight in my almost eight year old.
Gah. This is coming out all garbled and not what I meant. I have no idea what we’re going to do. Except pray! I realize I’ve probably offended most of you and the rest of you think I’m off my rocker for discussing such a personal decision. I just need to vent my feelings out into the internets. I’ve been completely consumed by this topic for the past few weeks. It’s like a timer went off and it’s all my brain can think about.
Let’s recap: C – 4/06; B – 9/08; E – 4/10; H – 12/12
What year is it? 2014? No wonder my brain has a fire alarm blaring in my ears. I obviously can’t (and have no desire) to do that for the rest of my life. I also think there is something primal to feeling this way. Instinct maybe.
When we first got married we said maybe four, maybe six.
I had something else, but I completely lost it. If you’ve made it this far, you are a saint. Thanks for reading my made-up drama. xoxo
P.S. This post is for venting purposes only. In no way am I asking you to weigh in on whether or not there is a seventh Spaid. You’re free to have your opinion, but malicious comments will be deleted.